humor

A Quote by Mr. on marraige, humor, muscles, relationships, couples, love, communication, and mr prophet

 

                                            Muscle Man

     A husband and wife had been married for many years. The husband had long since passed his prime and rarely exercised. He still liked to think of himself as a handsome, well built man. One day, his wife touched his belly, which had expanded several inches, and said "Flabby".

     The man took this statement to heart and resolved to do something about it. He detested exercise. The next time he saw her hand move towards him he tensed his muscles. She didn't say he was flabby. Over time, the man developed the habit of tensing up whenever his wife's hand moved towards his body.

     One day the wife decided to test her husband.  She moved her hand towards his shoulder, he tensed up. it was rock hard. She moved her hand towards his arm. He tensed up there too, she giggled. She moved her hand to his buttocks, he tensed up there too. She giggled again. Her hand gently roamed toward the back of his thigh. He tensed up there too. She laughed.

Then, with a twinkle in his eye, he said "How do you like your muscle man?"

"I wish the man I was feeling was the man I was married to." She replied with a smirk.

Mr. Prophet

Source: Book: Slices of Life, By Mr. Prophet

Contributed by: Mr.

A Quote by Edgar Arthur Tugman on humor

in

I have heard it said that "Obesity is death by the fork"

I say it is worse than that. Obesity is suicide by silverware.
-- Arthur Tugman

Arthur Tugman

Source: www.TheVirginiaBeachDiet.com

Contributed by: Arthur

A Quote by Christopher Darlington Morley on books, earth, humor, and sea

Love and friendship and humour and ships at sea by night - there's all heaven and earth in a book, a real book I mean.

Christopher Morley (1890 - 1957)

Source: Parnassus on Wheels

Contributed by: ingebrita

A Quote by Bob Samples on flexibility and humor

What this means is that children, homemakers, executives, farmers, and long-living persons can all have high ego strength and good mental health if they possess the courage, humor, and flexibility of equilibrium between their rational and metaphoric minds.

Bob Samples

Source: The Metaphoric Mind: A Celebration of Creative Consciousness

Contributed by: ingebrita

A Quote by Aristotle on humor

in

Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.

Aristotle (384 - 322 BC)

Source: Civilization's Quotations: Life's Ideal

Contributed by: ingebrita

A Quote by unknown on life, existence, and humor

Everyone is the monkey in their own zoo, the clown of their own circus, the master of their own disaster!

unknown

Contributed by: Mayan God

A Quote by Francis Carbajal on god, humor, jokes, meaning, and life

Sometimes I wonder if God put you where you are just to laugh at the jokes he created.

Francis Carbajal

Contributed by: CentriRitanni

A Quote by Jack Handey on god and humor

in

If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting!

Jack Handey

Source: Deep Thoughts

Contributed by: Darren

A Quote by George Carlin on death, impermanence, and humor

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating …and you finish off as an orgasm.

George Carlin

Contributed by: ~C4Chaos

A Quote by Maggie Foster on olive oil and humor

Extra Virgin Olive Oil?  How is it Extra Virgin? Either you've done it, or you haven't!

Maggie Foster

Contributed by: Maggie

Syndicate content