Tina Turner sang the successful song “What’s Love Got to Do With It?” Basically, it asked, “Why have a heart when a heart can be broken?”

In a way, I understand the feeling.

Ah, love. Each Valentine’s Day, lovers take pause to recognize that special someone in their lives. Pink and red hearts ornament retail locations, and flowers, chocolates, jewelry and other gifts are purchased and exchanged. Hands are held, sweet nothings are shared and love is in the air.

But what if these tokens of romantic affection mean something more sinister than the celebration of love and friendship? What if the production of these goods comes at a grave cost for the people directly connected to them?

We’re well into the new year, and the expectations of a better year — and a better you — are still high! We all keep in our mind’s eye what kind of shape we would like to be in, but it needn’t stop there. You can make it happen!

One of the keys to healthy relationships is spoken appreciation. Other kinds of appreciation (such as touch or giving a hand with a chore) are great, too, but spoken appreciation is highly valued and easy to do. We recommend a technique we call verbal valentines, which work wonders in any kind of relationship.

We give each other 10-second verbal valentines all year long. We believe it’s one of the main reasons we’re more in love now than when we met 32 years ago. Verbal valentines are not just for lovers, either.  You can give them at work, to children, to other family members and to cherished friends.

I’m a sucker for love letters and chocolate, so it should come as no surprise that I look forward to Valentine’s Day. Show a little love for your partner and the planet by having an eco-friendly holiday this February 14!

Here are four ways to do it:

By The FIRM Master Instructor Leslie Perry Duffy

Nothing says “I love you” quite like a gigantic box of chocolates, right? Hardly! This special holiday symbolized by hearts and celebrated with high-calories treats can be anything but heart-healthy. However, there’s no hard and fast rule that requires us to celebrate with sugary candy and foods saturated with fat. Celebrating Valentine’s Day in a healthy way does not mean that you can’t enjoy your favorite treat in moderation. Or, forget the treats and celebrate in a unique way that’s special for you and your loved one(s).

Valentine’s Day is next week, which means many of you are probably planning a “date night” with your significant other, some friends, or maybe even your kids. Planning and scheduling time with those you love is obviously crucial to maintaining a healthy and happy relationship. We are all so busy these days that it’s always a good idea to schedule time to reconnect.

If you’re like most people, your dates/special times are based on “calories consumed,” whether that means eating at a new restaurant, getting snacks at a movie, meeting for a fancy coffee or a glass of wine after work. These things can be great ideas for spending time together but once in a while why not try  looking at the opportunity to be with those you love a little differently?

Plan your time with loved ones based on “calories burned.” What I mean is to pick activities to do together that are focused on being active and expending calories.

At the age of 28, I decided that dating had thoroughly kicked my butt. It seemed as if 99 percent of my friends were engaged or married or having babies; meanwhile, I continued pursuing a breed of man who was never quite able to leave behind his college glory days and blatantly refused to face adulthood. It’s an irresistible combination, I know.

In my early twenties, I had the supernatural ability to hone in on this type of man in the midst of a crowd and can only blame myself for my early dating mishaps. But at some point in my mid-20s, I made a dramatic internal proclamation that I would never seek out this type of man again. But from then on they just came to me. I became the pied piper who attracts the emotionally stunted and unavailable.

The only thing worse than my actual dating history was when I made my friends listen to my tales of woe. This is why, when my friends could take no more, I was finally convinced to give the online dating scene a shot. I had recently undergone an especially rough breakup, to which my sanity, sobriety and eating habits were not responding well, so I figured I had nothing to lose.

Contrary to the deluge of advertisements, magazine articles and greeting cards floating around right now, not everyone looks forward to Valentine’s Day. Lots of people can’t stand it. Hate it, even. (I know; I used to be one of them until I got engaged on Feb. 14th five years ago.) It can seem like just another excuse to spend money and an opportunity to wish your love life were somehow different.

If you detest this time of year or just aren’t looking forward to this particular V-Day, try these simple ways to shortcut through the schmaltz and societal pressure and go straight to what this high-pressure holiday is really all about. Not flowers, chocolates or over-priced dinner reservations, but love. May one or some or all of these activities help you transform Valentine’s Day into an opportunity to recharge your love batteries.

by Tania Kazi

There comes a time in life when the old ways begin to peel and shed away.

This happens when you start to notice one too many undesirable patterns recurring in your life. You vow to change things, but the patterns keep reemerging with renewed force. The wise thing to do, one hears, is to step back, take a deep breath and reaffirm your intent to break away from the pattern. To stop doing that which repeatedly gives birth to an environment that accentuates the gray and uncertain hues of life in the core of your existence. This is where courage comes in. Lots of it.