football

Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football.

Being in politics is like coaching football. You have to be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it's important.

Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it's important.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally brain dead.

I'm old, old enough to play baseball or football. I'm not eight yet. My Mom told me when you start baseball, you aren't going to be able to run that fast because you had an operation. I told Mom I wouldn't need to run fast. When I play baseball, I'll just hit them out of the park. Then I'll be able to walk.

Describing an opposing team: Sure, luck means a lot in football. Not having a good quarterback is bad luck.

When I played pro football, I never set out to hurt anybody deliberately . . . unless it was, you know, important, like a league game or something.

If we could get the public as involved and as informed about politics as they are about Monday Night Football, we would not have as many problems. People have to get off their duffs and participate.

If any thing goes bad, I did it. If anything goes semi-good, we did it. If anything goes really good, then you did it. That's all it takes to get people to win football games for you.

Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.