The real beauty of realizing your true nature is in the freshness, peace and deep bodily relaxation which touches to the core of your being, flows into your everyday life and bursts forth naturally into blossoming from within itself. Without you 'doing' a thing about any of it.
This is a beautiful and simple change of lifestyle. A lifestyle of letting go and living openhandedly, curled up in the sunlit warmth on the lap of the Divine (your heart)
The main things which I have been noticing are the things which have fallen away. It is almost shocking to see that there are no reactive ‘buttons'. This covers so much more than I could have possibly imagined. It means that whatever circumstances occur in life nothing can cause an internal waver or reaction of any kind. This goes for all aspects, both negative and positive. There are no upsetting/emotional or satisfaction/gratification reactions from any circumstances.
There is no-one here to look a certain way, come across a certain way or make any impression whatsoever.
Poetically speaking, the motion is drawing the Divine through the Self or mindbody package to the point where the Divine takes over and lives itself. The limitation of the Self is then transcended and the Self falls away.
.....through living as your true nature you will see, not mentally but through your own direct experience, that your true Divine nature is always here at all times, in all situations and life circumstances and at no time is it ever possible to lose or leave it.
Elysha was talking about the mindbody package, and suddenly it struck. That was it. The penny dropped with a clunk. That is what had been missing from the picture over the past weeks. The mindbody package was gone. The Self was gone. There were no internal arisings, no emotions, and no feelings of the package of who I thought I was, which felt like it was just the tip of the iceberg with loads more under the surface. Nothing.
With this revelation the feeling in my chest lit up like a fire and felt as though it was burning and shining like a great beacon of joy. I saw that the Self is dead, in a clear momentary flash. A huge smile suddenly burst out. Joy was breaking through and there was no containing it.
There is the feeling of being finished. The end. The attention is held right here, in the body, in the moment, with no-one and no-thing. The depth of feeling and connection at the eyes when open and closed is no longer here. There is no internal centre. There is no feeling at all other than the senses operating. It is as if all of the doors to the mind have been shut. Nothing scary, nothing monstrous, just nothing here.
During the sitting, when the eyes closed the body relaxed and seemed to turn to warm liquid with all vestiges of the worries and anxiety of earlier oozing away and falling into a deep state of peace. After some while it felt as if I was looking into the abyss of nothingness. I felt the surrender and the possibility of dying was a natural next step. Give all of it up and drown in the Oneness of God. I knew that was all I had ever wanted. It was at that stage that all the build-up of the mindbody package that I knew to be "me/myself/I" seemed to slip off and was moved to the side, sort of floating to the left. Then the eyes opened and it was as if nothing had changed, yet with the feeling that everything had transformed irreversibly. Utterly unable to place what had actually happened, and with no desire to place it.
In the Oneness / Awakened state the insights and experience of all arising in and as the Divine, and the Divine being everywhere and everything (beyond consciousness, the Self, and the mindbody package) has been obvious. This has been consistently tested by life and the obviousness, and the freedom which this brings, fluctuated accordingly.
Despite the freedom of the Oneness state I was aware that the mind was still going, I was still buying into it and really when I felt into it I was still suffering in a way that I thought would have finished many years before. There felt to be lots of changes but essentially I was still the same mess that I had always been, albeit with a more mature stance and view of things.