A diplomat is a person who: -always knows what to talk about, but doesn't always talk about what he knows. -always tries to settle problems created by other diplomats. -can always make himself misunderstood. -can bring home the bacon without spilling the beans. -can say the nastiest things in the nicest way. -can tell you to go to hell so tactfully that you look forward to the trip. -comes right out and says what he thinks when he agrees with you. -divides his time between running for office and running for cover. -lets you do all the talking while he gets what he wants. -puts his cards on the table, but still has some up each sleeve. -will lay down your life for his country.