The major way of doing anything with one's self is to own one's self. This means to take full responsibility and accountability for whatever I am doing at any moment, with anybody. It means, among other things, that I get rid of all the extra fingers that I point at people and situations to explain my behavior. When a person says "He made me mad" that is not accurate. It is "I made me mad." When I permit myself the luxury of taking that full responsibility, then I'm on first base, at least, because then I can do something about it.