Steven Wright

1955 -

A Quote by Steven Wright on mind and time

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Sorry . . . my mind was wandering . . . One time it went all the way to Venus and ordered a meal I couldn't pay for.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on justice and wonder

Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on adoption, evolution, and theory

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on listening and mistakes

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

Officer, I know I was going faster than 55 mile per hour, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on belief and time

One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read"

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on spontaneity

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on babies, friendship, and writing

My friend has a baby. I'm writing down all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on friendship

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

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