Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
Steven Wright (1955 -)
Contributed by: Zaady
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn't get his birth mark 'til he was eight years old.
My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.
My girlfriend has a Queen-size bed. . . . I have a Court Jester size bed. . . . It's red and green, has bells on it . . . and the ends curl up.
My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH.
My neighbor has a circular driveway. He can't get out.
My socks DO match. They're the same thickness.
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
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