Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright... until you hear them speak?
Steven Wright (1955 -)
Contributed by: Zaady
Smoking cures weight problems . . . eventually.
My girlfriend has a Queen-size bed. . . . I have a Court Jester size bed. . . . It's red and green, has bells on it . . . and the ends curl up.
My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH.
My neighbor has a circular driveway. He can't get out.
My socks DO match. They're the same thickness.
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
Officer, I know I was going faster than 55 mile per hour, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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