Steven Wright

1955 -

A Quote by Steven Wright on wedding

in

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on people, intelligence, and appearances

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright... until you hear them speak? 

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on words

in

My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

My girlfriend has a Queen-size bed. . . . I have a Court Jester size bed. . . . It's red and green, has bells on it . . . and the ends curl up.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on neighbors

My neighbor has a circular driveway. He can't get out.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

My socks DO match. They're the same thickness.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on adoption, evolution, and theory

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on listening and mistakes

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

Officer, I know I was going faster than 55 mile per hour, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

Syndicate content