Steven Wright

1955 -

A Quote by Steven Wright on trust and water

[Referring to a glass of water:] I mixed this myself. Two parts H, one part O. I don't trust anybody!

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on time

in

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on darkness

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on wedding

in

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on people, intelligence, and appearances

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright... until you hear them speak? 

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on problems

Smoking cures weight problems . . . eventually.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on darkness

So what's the speed of dark?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on earth and wishes

Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth. On the back it said, "Wish you were here."

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on mind and time

in

Sorry . . . my mind was wandering . . . One time it went all the way to Venus and ordered a meal I couldn't pay for.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on justice and wonder

Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

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