I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said "pet supplies." So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said "compact cars. . . ."
Steven Wright (1955 -)
Contributed by: Zaady
There aren't enough days in the weekend.
There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore looking like an idiot.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will."
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Copyright © 2014 Gaiam, Inc.