It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by then I was too famous.
Robert Charles Benchley (1889 - 1945)
Contributed by: Zaady
A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedence, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
The most common of all antagonisms arises from a man's taking a seat beside you on the train, a seat to which he is completely entitled.
Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.
Source: Quoted by Cold Noses and Warm Hearts
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony.
One of the easiest forms of pretense to break down is the pretense of enthusiasm for exotic foods. Just bring on the exotic foods.
Source: Benchley—or Else!
I must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini.
I can't bring myself to say, 'Well, I guess I'll be toddling along.' It isn't that I can't toddle. It's just that I can't guess I'll toddle.
It has always seemed to me that the most difficult part of building a bridge would be the start.
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