Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.
Robert Charles Benchley (1889 - 1945)
Source: Quoted by Cold Noses and Warm Hearts
Contributed by: Zaady
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony.
One of the easiest forms of pretense to break down is the pretense of enthusiasm for exotic foods. Just bring on the exotic foods.
Source: Benchley—or Else!
I must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini.
I can't bring myself to say, 'Well, I guess I'll be toddling along.' It isn't that I can't toddle. It's just that I can't guess I'll toddle.
It has always seemed to me that the most difficult part of building a bridge would be the start.
Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.
There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't.
Source: Benchley's Law of Distinction
It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by then I was too famous.
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