Joe E. Lewis

There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.

You only live once but if you work it right, once is enough.

Boys, I have been rich and I have been poor, and believe me being rich is better.

I never went to school beyond the 3rd grade, but my mother taught me the difference between right and wrong.

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to the wrong people.

Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants on.

Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.

I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.