Groucho Marx

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

I find television very educational -- everytime someone turns it on, I go in the other room to read a book.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money.

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

Room service? Send up a larger room.