Relationships

Earlier this month, we focused on the invisible armor that surrounds areas of our body. Today I’d like to focus on another kind of armor: The kind surrounding the heart.

Every day, we pose a question to the members of Gaia, Gaiam’s online community for people committed to creating healthy lives of meaning and purpose. Recently, we asked our community for answers to the question, “How did you meet your partner?” Below are a few of our favorites — because who doesn’t love “how we met” stories?

Dear Arielle & Brian,

I have been working on manifesting my soulmate. With each person I come in touch with, I become more clear as to what I am desiring from the core of my heart, but still, I am unable to manifest the kind of person I am looking for.  I have joined two online dating services and have gone on several dates, but it doesn’t seem to be working. It seems that ultimately the men I meet online are not emotionally available.

Dear Arielle and Brian,
My name is Maria and I’ve been raising my two daughters on my own, for 15 years, working very hard to provide the best that I could for them. Now that they are now both in college, I have decided to think a bit about myself, and who knows — maybe find my soulmate. I have read your book, made the treasure map, listened to the “feelingizations” every night before going to sleep, and I have even signed myself up on a dating website here in Melbourne, Australia. Nothing has happened at all! Am I too old?
Thank you,
Maria

Dear Arielle and Brian:
Three years ago I met someone who I strongly believe in my heart is my soulmate. We are engaged and have lived together for the past three years. I discovered he cheated on me and I told him to leave the house. He has groveled, begged for me to take him back and acknowledged that it was a terrible mistake.
My question is how can a soulmate cause so much pain? How can someone I love so dearly do this? Part of me wants him to come back, but the hurting part of me wants to let go. I have been honest with my thoughts and let him know where he stands. He asked me today what can he do to regain my trust and have me back?
Hope you can clear my mind a bit. Totally confused here.
Betsy

Dear Arielle and Brian,
When you meet your soulmate, do you know it pretty much right away and if things go wrong, is he then not your soulmate? How do you know, if things seem great and then fall apart? I have a situation that is pretty unique, and I’m not sure what to make of it. I am getting mixed signals and even though I am in my 40s, I don’t know how to navigate this. Does the path of true love always run smooth if the person is your soulmate? I don’t know whether to give up or wait it out.
Thanks,
Lynn

Dear Arielle and Brian:I have been in a relationship for nearly five years. I feel very safe, comfortable and care deeply for this person. He loves me unconditionally and he is there for me more than anyone I have ever been with. The problem is that I don’t feel like he is my “soul mate.” How do I know if he is the ONE?
Thanks,
Virginia

Add more heart to your Valentine's Day

Contrary to the deluge of advertisements, magazine articles, and greeting cards floating around right now, not everyone looks forward to Valentine’s Day. Lots of people can’t stand it. Hate it, even. (I know; I used to be one of them until I got engaged on Feb. 14th three years ago.) It can seem like just another excuse to spend money and an opportunity to wish your love life were somehow different.

This Valentine’s Day, I encourage you to start having a sizzling affair. Not the way you think, though — I want you to choose your closest soul mate, the one who’s been there for you during all the ups and downs of your life and the person who has never, ever left you, and never will.

Many people think of February as the “love” month. They’re planning ways to celebrate love with a partner, looking for love, or bemoaning the fact that they are not experiencing love. Yet it is very important that we all become clear that love begins within.