The Search for Self: Healing Old Wounds to Live Life Renewed

Cynthia James by Cynthia James | May 27th, 2010 | 6 Comments
topic: Personal Growth

Recently, Oprah did this wonderful show on women, food and God. I love that she makes us aware of topics that cause us to pause and reassess how we live. As I contemplated this show, it led me to think about the fact that all addictions have a root cause. That cause is not wanting to “feel” something, or trying to find our worth, our power and our life outside of ourselves.

This is true, from my observations, of women and men. We are looking for the perfect job, wealth and soulmates to complete us and spiritual leaders to show us the way. We do almost anything to avoid being in pain. We hide, overeat, drink too much and move from relationship to relationship in order to escape. The interesting thing we are not aware of is that the pain is communicating to us what we need to know. It is trying to show us old wounds that need to be healed so we can move into a greater dimension of joy.

Removing pain through practice

Several years ago, I had a young woman come to me who was “cutting” herself. As we explored the behavior, we uncovered that whenever she was distressed about her traumatic childhood she would “cut” instead of dealing with the painful thoughts. Now, for some of us, that would seem irrational. However, for her, the “cutting” distracted her enough to never have to go back into the emotional upheaval that she experienced as a child. As we worked together, we slowly began to disconnect the old pain, remove that energy from her body and open a space for her to create a new way of being in the world. Today, she is a college graduate and doing amazing work in service to others.

How to avoid avoidance

We all have incredible avoidance mechanisms. In my family, it was food and illness. Five generations of women ate for comfort and ended their lives with physical and health challenges. I am interested in looking at the energy of old wounds that leads us into addictive states. I am interested in supporting all of us in understanding that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. Being human is meant to be powerful and dynamic.

Please remember: Nothing that has ever happened to you can define you or your life. Whatever your “drug” of choice is, be willing to face it and get support to heal that wound. Once you do, you will make choices to love, live and express your divine nature. You have never been lost. Your worth is not outside of you. Every wound is a call to heal. Answer it. You deserve to live and be fully expressed.

Take a moment to remember this:

Today, I take a bold step and dare to look at old wounds and shadow experiences. I call forth my greatness and dare to let go of anything that does not support my freedom.


  1. Thank you Cynthia for this wonderful call to action!

    It all seems rooted in the drama triangle and the roles we play. I work with David Emerald, the author of a book that gives you steps to take in shifting your focus from avoiding problems you don’t want to creating the outcomes you do want.

    I encourage you to visit his website at http://www.powerofted. Let me know what you think.

    And please keep these messages coming!

    kathy | May 28th, 2010 | Comment Permalink
  2. After watching Oprah be so vulnerable and so honest it was the very first time I wrote in. I cried after seeing her pain sitting right at the surface. Addiction that covers up our pain and suffering always sits right at the surface. As my guru, Kaliji says “sometimes you need to take a big U Turn.” Bought the book “of course”, and it is an eye opener. Oprah is my hero. Diana

    Diana Ross | May 28th, 2010 | Comment Permalink
  3. I suffered the same thing after my relationship ended. I didnt feel like talking to a lot of people ,including friends. But when i realised i was cutting myself off and finding an answer in lonliness. I realised it has to be like ripping off a band aid, quick but painful.

    So i decided to get back to the normal life i used to live

    I loved this post and Im a regular follower of your blog. Well done

    priya | May 31st, 2010 | Comment Permalink
  4. Thank you Diana for your post. I admire Oprah greatly and love that she models the power of vulnerabilty for us all. Much love, Cynthia

    Cynthia James | June 1st, 2010 | Comment Permalink
  5. Thank you Kathy. I will review this work. Much love, Cynthia

    Cynthia James | June 1st, 2010 | Comment Permalink
  6. Very good article!. The first comment from Kathy referred to “The Power of Ted*”; the correct web address is

    Josie | June 2nd, 2010 | Comment Permalink

Post a Comment

If you want to show your picture with your comment, go get a gravatar!