“Busy” has become the anthem of the anxious. And yet, when asked, most are hard-pressed to say what, exactly, they’re so busy doing. They shrug and say, “you know, with kids,” or an even more vague, “Not enough hours in the day.”
There was a time I envied those “busy” people. Thanks to a youth spent largely ignored by my more-popular peers, I equated “busy” with “popular.” At home with my books, I imagined “busy” meant parties and concerts, dinners with friends, and interesting work commitments. The lives of “busy” people struck me as exciting. Their time was in demand, and their busyness seemed an indictment of my own busy-less life.
Dear Arielle & Brian,
I have been married for 10 years. Three years ago I began a serious spiritual path to discovering the awesome abundance of possibilities in the spiritual world. I have asked my husband to join me on this journey. I have told him that I love him and I long for more romance and spontaneity. His response was very negative and he says I am forcing him into something he is not comfortable with. He surfs, windsurfs and plays guitar and he says that this is way of connecting to the Spirit. Do you think a marriage can survive if one partner embraces the spiritual journey and the other does not?
One of the keys to healthy relationships is spoken appreciation. Other kinds of appreciation (such as touch or giving a hand with a chore) are great, too, but spoken appreciation is highly valued and easy to do. We recommend a technique we call verbal valentines, which work wonders in any kind of relationship.
We give each other 10-second verbal valentines all year long. We believe it’s one of the main reasons we’re more in love now than when we met 32 years ago. Verbal valentines are not just for lovers, either. You can give them at work, to children, to other family members and to cherished friends.
Planning and scheduling time with those you love is obviously crucial to maintaining a healthy and happy relationship. We are all so busy these days that it’s always a good idea to schedule time to reconnect.
If you’re like most people, your dates/special times are based on “calories consumed,” whether that means eating at a new restaurant, getting snacks at a movie, meeting for a fancy coffee or a glass of wine after work. These things can be great ideas for spending time together but once in a while why not try looking at the opportunity to be with those you love a little differently?
Plan your time with loved ones based on “calories burned.” What I mean is to pick activities to do together that are focused on being active and expending calories.
One thing we keep an eye out for is what kind of relationship advice is being dispensed subliminally through sit-coms, dramas, even the news shows. So when a morning show host began an interview with an expert on infidelity the other day, I watched out of the corner of my eye.
You can make the holidays a time of dramatic change and healing by using your innate intuitive abilities in a conscious and directed way.
Holidays are supposed to be a time when families unite, when you are reminded of your childhood or revisit the memories of yourself over the years. You may be spending this time alone or far from home. But no matter where you are or who you are with, the holidays provide you with a unique opportunity to heal the inner patterns and relationships that have been obstructing your life and hindering your dreams.
Dear Arielle and Brian,
I’ve been putting out the vibes to call in a soulmate and as a result a couple of my exes are showing up. In particular, I had a reunion with my most recent ex of last year and it was quite magical.
What do you do when you are calling in “the one” and then get distracted by the recycles who become magnetized? And I’m now wondering whether he is “the one”? I realize that it comes down to discerning which one is the right one. In many ways, the familiar has an advantage because they already cherish me and know my heart versus a new man coming in and not knowing much about me. The negative side of this is that it didn’t work before and why go down that road again?
What advice do you have for me?
Dear Arielle and Brian,
Nearly 35 years ago my husband walked out on me and our two small children. I was devastated, as I believed he was my soulmate — my one and only. I never remarried because I could never stop loving him and hoping that we would someday reunite (even though he remarried and currently is with wife #3).
Now, as I near my retirement, I am suddenly aware of how little time I have left on the planet and I want to finally let go of the past and find new love. Is it too late for me?
Dear Arielle and Brian,
During the past year I have done many of your suggested soulmate manifestation exercises, however, I still haven’t been able to emotionally pull the cord from my past relationship with Doug. We dated for a few months and then transitioned to just “good friends” because I’m not physically attracted to him and no longer wanted to be physically intimate with him. I care deeply for him and truly enjoy our time together as friends. I feel my heart is very connected to his but I can’t seem to resolve this past relationship and move on in peace. If you have any advice I would appreciate it!
Here’s what I know for sure: Finding true love is possible for anyone at any age if you’re willing to prepare your self, on all levels, to become a magnet for love.
This wonderful Universe of ours is set up to deliver the people and things we draw to us that are consistent with our personal belief system. If you don’t believe you will ever find the ONE, then, guess what? You get to be right … you probably won’t.