Hope. It has been described to me as a strategy for freedom, a trajectory of love, a means of healing and a way of being. Except it seems lately that “hope” is actually a diversion from trusting myself — from knowing what I can do. We humans use hope as a perfectly rational way of staying far away from real trust and knowing, by “hoping” things will work out. Could we replace hope with knowing, and effectively clear the way to our dreams?
I host a monthly free teleconference called “Community Conversations.” We recently discussed the ego and how it was playing out in our lives. So, I will pose the same question to you that I asked the group: “Are you in charge of your ego or is your ego in charge of you?”
There are a few definitions of ego: the self, especially as distinct from the world and other selves; in psychoanalysis, the division of the psyche that is conscious, most immediately controls thought and behavior, and is most in touch with external reality; an exaggerated sense of self-importance; conceit, appropriate pride in oneself; self-esteem. I believe that we all experience the good news and the interesting news of our ego and how it affects our lives. However, more often than not, the ego quietly affirms separation, lack and limitation.
I am an addicted multitasker. Sometimes I feel really good about that — and sometimes not so much. Many of us can survive on very little sleep to pull off an important project at work, prepare a holiday dinner for 20 relatives, coordinate the entire family’s events while still doing laundry, paying the bills, helping with homework … Yet often we feel it isn’t good enough; we should have been able to do more … like fit in a workout. Ironically, guilt, failure and regret leave us feeling overwhelmed and paralyzed. So when you find yourself in “not good enough” mode, take a deep breath and take action.
If you mentally scold yourself when you go off your diet or gain weight — or you can’t lose the weight you want to lose — this post is for you!
We often think that by berating ourselves we’ll get ourselves to do better next time. How is that working for you so far? Has it helped? Probably not.
How many times a day do you look in the mirror and wish you didn’t look how you look or worry about how old you are getting? Do you ever stand there and point out all the things you don’t like? Do you ever walk down the street saying how stupid you are or how you wish you were prettier or smarter?