Can you believe it? We’re already halfway into February! I have been getting calls for counseling requests around relationships; Valentine woes and deep feelings of aloneness. I even got a Facebook message from a man challenged with his life choices and loss of love. I am very clear that every person on this planet wants to love and be loved. We all want to feel special, be seen and acknowledged for the beautiful beings that we are. So why is it so hard to “find” love?
The day my mother died, I was hoping for something, anything, to help alleviate my incredible pain and overwhelming sense of loss. I was also hoping that Mom was finally at peace. A Facebook post around the same time revealed that a friend of mine was hoping fervently for something as well: that she would find just the right shoes to match her new dress.
At first, it seemed so cruel and unfair to me that I was hoping for something so crucial while she was free to hope for something that seemed so insignificant to me.
Despite a diet of organic, holistic dog food. Despite a pesticide-free yard. Despite daily exercise and plenty of TLC, our six-year-old dog Polar was diagnosed in October with osteosarcoma, an aggressive and indiscriminate type of bone cancer that leaves little time for weighing options.
I recently received the unexpected news that three people I love had been in a car accident. The mother and youngest daughter were killed and the second child, 11 years old, was in critical condition. These people are a major part of our spiritual community and youth ministry. I received phone calls and emails filled with shock and sadness. As I sat in the memorial service, I had such a feeling of sadness and loss. The children often ran up to me on a Sunday and showered me with hugs and kisses. I always felt such love and joy during these quick exchanges. Their smiles and joyous ways always filled my heart with warmth and peace.
Dear Arielle and Brian,
One year ago, I discovered that my husband and my best friend were having an affair. As you can imagine, I was heart-broken and devastated and left him. I was fortunate to find a great coach who has been helping me work through the pain and grief, and I finally feel like I am ready for new love. Some days I am happy and sunny again and anticipating a future with a new man. But other days, I wake up sad and lonely and convinced I’ll never find love again. What am I doing wrong?
For some, the holiday season is a time of joy, family and celebration. For others, this is a time of profound sadness — wrought with pain and suffering from failed relationships, financial challenges, job dissatisfaction and self-worth issues. Today I want to share a tool to help you or someone you love transform feelings of depression by looking at circumstances as gifts.