In the last few weeks, I have had several clients and other acquaintances who have shared their discontent. Their challenges range from unsatisfying relationships to chaotic work environments to spiritual disconnection to complete exhaustion. As I listened to each person there was a similar question that kept running through my mind: “Is your container too small?”
Dear Arielle & Brian,
I am 46 years old and am working on manifesting in my life my ideal soulmate. I know others who have found love through dating Web sites, but I’ve chosen to work on the Law of Attraction, which I discovered last year. I’m very clear about what I’m looking for in a woman. My biggest deficit is I’ve yet to experience a romantic relationship in my life. I’ve been working doing the suggested “feelingizations” and creating space. Yet I really don’t know how to start taking action or what I can do to manifest that special woman.
In the spring of 2007, after the birth of my second beautiful daughter, I relapsed from the eating disorder and severe depression I suffered with in college.
After six months of draining the lives of so many family and friends, I decided to receive intensive therapy once and for all. I was losing my husband, alienating friends and family members and spending days and weeks inside the house. I had two little girls to take care of and I could barely take care of myself.
To live and love is to risk getting hurt, to lose those we love, to be betrayed or victimized, and to lose hope.
But hope is most palpable when you have lost it.
Everyone experiences a period of feeling hopeless at some point in their life. For some, these feelings may last only a moment; for others, they may last for years. We can lose hope in ourselves, our community, humanity, the prospect of finding love and more.
Have you been there? Here are four steps to help you reclaim hope.
My mom’s house burned to the ground a little over a year ago. She lost everything … but it was a hidden blessing. Since my dad died a few years ago, my brother, sister and I had been trying to get Mom to move to a smaller house in a less-isolated community. She would not budge, saying, “Everything I know is here: my home, my neighbors, my life.” The fire, though tragic, took care of that.
by Rachel Wallmuller
I consider myself to be pretty independent, taking pride in all that I have because I’ve worked hard for it.
If you asked those closest to me, they would probably tell you I’m a little too headstrong, preferring to do things myself rather than seek help. I never really considered it like this, thinking instead that I am just successfully self-sufficient. However, in the past year or so, I’ve had to soften to the experience of seeking and accepting help. For the first time, I’m learning to lean on others more than makes me comfortable and to rest easy with accepting help.
Thinking that I’ve been doing a good job with this practice, I was shocked to feel genuine discomfort when I had to ask for help from my boyfriend recently. We’re moving in together, and we have a very solid relationship, so you’d think that asking for a little assistance would be a no-brainer…
Dear Arielle & Brian,
Since I read The Soulmate Secret, did the exercises to heal my past relationships and cut the energetic cords to past lovers, four of my old boyfriends and my former husband have called wanting to reconnect with me. What’s up with that?
Thanks for your help,
One of the keys to healthy relationships is spoken appreciation. Other kinds of appreciation (such as touch or giving a hand with a chore) are great, too, but spoken appreciation is highly valued and easy to do. We recommend a technique we call verbal valentines, which work wonders in any kind of relationship.
We give each other 10-second verbal valentines all year long. We believe it’s one of the main reasons we’re more in love now than when we met 32 years ago. Verbal valentines are not just for lovers, either. You can give them at work, to children, to other family members and to cherished friends.
I’m a sucker for love letters and chocolate, so it should come as no surprise that I look forward to Valentine’s Day. Show a little love for your partner and the planet by having an eco-friendly holiday this February 14!
Here are four ways to do it:
At the age of 28, I decided that dating had thoroughly kicked my butt. It seemed as if 99 percent of my friends were engaged or married or having babies; meanwhile, I continued pursuing a breed of man who was never quite able to leave behind his college glory days and blatantly refused to face adulthood. It’s an irresistible combination, I know.
In my early twenties, I had the supernatural ability to hone in on this type of man in the midst of a crowd and can only blame myself for my early dating mishaps. But at some point in my mid-20s, I made a dramatic internal proclamation that I would never seek out this type of man again. But from then on they just came to me. I became the pied piper who attracts the emotionally stunted and unavailable.
The only thing worse than my actual dating history was when I made my friends listen to my tales of woe. This is why, when my friends could take no more, I was finally convinced to give the online dating scene a shot. I had recently undergone an especially rough breakup, to which my sanity, sobriety and eating habits were not responding well, so I figured I had nothing to lose.