A parent wrote me recently to say that her 13-year-old son’s impulsive behavior was frustrating his teachers and driving away potential friends. Here is the advice I shared with her:
The prefrontal cortex (PFC) is the part of the brain behind the forehead that governs the inhibitory response in human beings. It creates a pause between having an impulse and acting on it.
In the ADD-ish children and teens I’ve worked with, I almost always see up to a 30-percent developmental lag between a child’s actual age and their PFC developmental function. In other words, while a child may officially be 13 years old (and might be even more mature in some respects), they may be more like an 8- or 9-year-old when it comes to controlling their impulsive behavior.
The first title I imagined for the parenting book I would someday write was Please Don’t Let the Light in Your Child’s Eyes Grow Dim. I had run into a 12-year-old girl whom I’d known at the age of four, when she was one of the brightest, most vibrant kids I had ever met. When I saw her at 12, I hardly recognized her. She was slumped into herself, subdued, and her light was … dim.
As I began writing, I was determined to articulate what I had come to understand about how to help children manifest their gifts and head into adulthood with joy and passion.
Parenting is a full time job. It’s no wonder many of us have trouble finding time to take care of ourselves and fit fitness into our lives. But in a world where childhood obesity is a national threat and our kids are inundated with technology that makes sitting still all day seem fun, fitness is a crucial life skill we need to be teaching our children. And children learn best by mimicking their parents’ behavior. As a trainer and mom of three teens, I know these ideas for parents of kids in specific age groups make it easier to add more movement and fitness into your family life and your own busy schedule.