Dear Arielle and Brian,
I was married for 30 years and it was always a difficult relationship. I learned many important life lessons throughout it all — even how to forgive betrayal, though we eventually divorced. For the past seven years I have been enjoying my single life, meeting lots of new friends, traveling, redecorating my home, growing spiritually … but this past summer I found out that my ex, now 59, had been living with a woman 20 years younger than him, and she is having his child. (We have two children together, now ages 27 and 29.) The idea that he had started over with a new family hit me hard and brought up much anger, resentment and feelings that he doesn’t deserve happiness. I know this is selfish and un-Christian of me but this is how I am feeling right now. I am in therapy and I have spiritual direction as well, but how do I get to forgiveness? I really want to manifest a new soulmate!
God bless you!
No matter what
No matter where
It’s always home
If love is there.
I grew up with this quote hanging on our kitchen wall. As a little girl, I admired the fine needlework (yes, I grew up in Kansas) rather than the actual message embedded in the thread. As I’ve grown in life and with my yoga practice, I’ve come to fully understand the power behind this simple message. Home and comfort reside in the small things, and love is magically woven into every crevice of our lives when we learn to let go of the story we’re telling ourselves and open our eyes.
This summer I’ve spent a good deal of time upstate in the Catskills where my boyfriend manages a 2,000-acre estate. (Two and a half times the size of Central Park!) This Gilded Age estate includes a once grand 20,000-sq-ft mansion and riding stables. Needless to say, it’s paradise for me, Nature Gal. The abundant wildlife (including bobcat and bear), fresh air, pure spring water and total lack of light pollution has me ‘blissed out in the boonies.’ I believe nature is our ultimate healer, which is the reason I incorporate all things natural into my design work. And I have never felt healthier or happier in my whole life than I have this summer, enveloped in this magical kingdom.
Dear Arielle and Brian,
I’ve been putting out the vibes to call in a soulmate and as a result a couple of my exes are showing up. In particular, I had a reunion with my most recent ex of last year and it was quite magical.
What do you do when you are calling in “the one” and then get distracted by the recycles who become magnetized? And I’m now wondering whether he is “the one”? I realize that it comes down to discerning which one is the right one. In many ways, the familiar has an advantage because they already cherish me and know my heart versus a new man coming in and not knowing much about me. The negative side of this is that it didn’t work before and why go down that road again?
What advice do you have for me?
Ever felt yourself going through the motions of a yoga pose without focus or purpose? I think most yogis who’ve been practicing for a while have this experience, at least sometimes.
Several years ago, I found myself rushing through the Sun Salutation, praying for the series to end so I could move on to asanas I enjoyed more. I hated the way the pose strained my wrist and left me breathless, and it seemed to take forever to get through five or six of them. But since appreciating whatever you’re doing is a key spiritual teaching, I knew I had to do something to change my perspective.
What does it take to manifest the love of your life?
I’ve heard from first-time brides (at 49 and older!), from busy entrepreneurs whose 80-hour-a-week work schedules left little time for romance, and from divorcees and widowers who were convinced that the opportunity for true love had long passed them by. Whether these soulmate success stories come from Russia, Ireland, Spain, South Korea, Nova Scotia, Poland, Iran, Slovenia, Austria, Germany, Norway or the good ’ole U.S. of A., I can always spot the common theme woven throughout them: Those who have successfully manifested their soulmates did so by finding a healthy balance between intending and allowing; between doing and being.
For years, my husband struggled with depression. He doesn’t feel depressed these days, thank goodness, and hasn’t for a while. But for a while there things were pretty rough. I’ve thought a lot about the part I played in his depression. I know, I know, this sounds like a classic co-dependent attitude. But the fact is, during the years my husband was depressed, I myself was a young mother, overwhelmed, uptight and rigid with fear that I was going to screw up. I can’t help but think that we were feeding off each other.
As a parent and grandparent, I was very hesitant to watch Rabbit Hole because I knew that it focused on parents who were dealing with the death of their child. After much encouragement from my wife, Lauren, and one of our community members (Mark), and with the tragedy in Tucson in the background, we watched the film last night and were absolutely mesmerized.
Despite a diet of organic, holistic dog food. Despite a pesticide-free yard. Despite daily exercise and plenty of TLC, our six-year-old dog Polar was diagnosed in October with osteosarcoma, an aggressive and indiscriminate type of bone cancer that leaves little time for weighing options.
Right now, I am living with 4 plates, 1 mug, 7 spoons, 2 books, 1 sofa, 4 folding chairs and a folding table, a mattress on the floor and the rest of the basics to get me, my husband and our almost-3-year-old through January in our temporary apartment.
All the rest of our stuff is on a ship crossing the Atlantic from Sweden.