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Life is the living art of balance. Balance is a beautiful concept, rooted in the exquisite imagery of Yin and Yang. For most of us, the attempt at balance is more like a circus act of hither and thither, with multiple moving parts flying about our worlds in an unpredictable and mysterious way. As we all strive for our perfectly expressed version of “just the right amount,” it’s important to remember a few essential things to the practice of balance.
It’s February and love is in the air. It fills the store aisles in preparation for Valentine’s Day and is all over the airwaves in music, movies, and TV. I used to find immense frustration in the commercial aspect of love during the month of February. As I’ve delved deeper into what it means to love and be loved, though, I can now appreciate the holiday as a time to tune into the feeling of love we all have within us in order to fully appreciate it and share it with others throughout the year!
Many of us long for a life of happiness and peace, but we don’t believe we can have it. The great paradox is that our lack of faith in love and miracles is what blocks us from receiving love and miracles.
If we want to live a miraculous life, we must raise the volume on the loving voice within us and turn down the volume on our fear.
It’s often said that we’re living with our best teacher, and nowhere is that more true than with our children. No one has the ability to push our buttons the way our kids do. And no one offers us the opportunity to practice the things we preach — about love, forgiveness and staying centered — like our kids do.
Every parent wants to stay cool, calm and collected. We don’t want to threaten to send them to bed without their supper when they’ve sassed back, or tell them they’re grounded for a month when — yet again — they refuse to honor their curfew. But taking a deep breath or counting to ten can seem almost impossible in the presence of kids who seem to know exactly how to push our biggest buttons.
I was married for 30 years and it was always a difficult relationship. I learned many important life lessons throughout it all — even how to forgive betrayal, though we eventually divorced. For the past seven years I have been enjoying my single life, meeting lots of new friends, traveling, redecorating my home, growing spiritually … but this past summer I found out that my ex, now 59, had been living with a woman 20 years younger than him, and she is having his child. (We have two children together, now ages 27 and 29.) The idea that he had started over with a new family hit me hard and brought up much anger, resentment and feelings that he doesn’t deserve happiness. I know this is selfish and un-Christian of me but this is how I am feeling right now. I am in therapy and I have spiritual direction as well, but how do I get to forgiveness? I really want to manifest a new soulmate!
God bless you!
Dear Arielle and Brian,
Nearly 35 years ago my husband walked out on me and our two small children. I was devastated, as I believed he was my soulmate — my one and only. I never remarried because I could never stop loving him and hoping that we would someday reunite (even though he remarried and currently is with wife #3).
Now, as I near my retirement, I am suddenly aware of how little time I have left on the planet and I want to finally let go of the past and find new love. Is it too late for me?
Dear Arielle & Brian,
Three months ago, I discovered that my husband of six years has been having a year-long affair with a woman he met on a trip to Phoenix where he often travels for business. He has apologized to me and swears he has broken up with this woman. I feel enraged, betrayed, devastated and heartbroken. I truly believed we were soulmates. Now he wants me to simply forgive and forget. He says he has apologized, and I need to get over it. I still love him, but I no longer trust him, and I don’t know what to do. Is it over?