Dear Arielle & Brian,
I am 46 years old and unmarried. Last summer, I connected with someone online and we both felt we were soulmates, brought together by divine intervention. Two months later he decided to fly 5,000 miles to come meet me, with an understanding that the meeting was just to see each other at least once and get comfortable.
Upon our meeting, the guy felt there was no chemistry. Because we had so much in common, I was willing to give it a try, but he wasn’t, although he did want to keep in touch and remain friends, which I said no to.
Arielle and Brian, why does this happen? Is it right to give up so much in common for chemistry? Was this guy not really my soulmate? I am confused.
Dear Arielle and Brian,
I was married for 30 years and it was always a difficult relationship. I learned many important life lessons throughout it all — even how to forgive betrayal, though we eventually divorced. For the past seven years I have been enjoying my single life, meeting lots of new friends, traveling, redecorating my home, growing spiritually … but this past summer I found out that my ex, now 59, had been living with a woman 20 years younger than him, and she is having his child. (We have two children together, now ages 27 and 29.) The idea that he had started over with a new family hit me hard and brought up much anger, resentment and feelings that he doesn’t deserve happiness. I know this is selfish and un-Christian of me but this is how I am feeling right now. I am in therapy and I have spiritual direction as well, but how do I get to forgiveness? I really want to manifest a new soulmate!
God bless you!