Should I Go Back to My Ex?

Arielle Ford by Arielle Ford | May 16th, 2011 | 3 Comments
topic: Personal Growth, Relationships

Woman with her ex-boyfriend

Dear Arielle and Brian,

I am pretty sure that one of my ex-boyfriends is truly the one for me. We broke up about a year ago after many heated, and sometimes ugly, disagreements about how to spend our time together. Should I now try to attract him back or should I let go of any emotional baggage and try to meet someone new?



Dear Esther,

Here’s the really good news: We each have many possible soulmates in a lifetime, so why not manifest one that shares your vision on how to “do life”?

It’s possible that the purpose of the time you spent with your ex was to help you gain clarity on what’s truly important to you in a relationship. We would suggest that before you take the next step to manifesting love, you spend some time with your journal asking yourself these questions:

1. When I imagine myself married to my soulmate, do we both have jobs outside of the home, do both of work from home, does one of us work from home, do we run a business together or something else?

2. Are we on the same schedule  – meaning we both work either day shifts or night shifts?

3. How do we spend our free time together, including weekends and vacations?

4. What will be our approach to resolving conflicts?

Once you have a sense of what your ideal life together looks like, then as you put your attention on manifesting love you can add this to your soulmate wish list.

Also, if you feel there is “emotional baggage” from this last relationship, then of course you want to forgive, let go and heal yourself as much as possible. (Please note that you don’t need to be “perfect” in any way, shape or form to manifest a soulmate, and we believe connecting with your soulmate will heal you in ways you’ve never dreamed of!) And, if you need assistance, there are many great relationship coaches and therapists available to help guide you.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle and Brian

Arielle Ford, author of The Soulmate Secret: Manifest the Love of Your Life with The Law of Attraction and her husband Brian Hilliard, a business consultant, answer your questions about life, love and relationships. They believe that whether you are eighteen or eighty years old, finding Big Love is always possible. Email your questions to:

Disclaimer: Arielle Ford, Brian Hilliard, the Big Love column and its publishers assume no responsibility for any consequence relating directly or indirectly to any action or inaction you take based on the information, services or other material related to this column.


  1. Dear Esther -

    This is such a courageous question, good for you for asking! As always, Arielle gives great advice.

    If you’re thinking about reconciling, I’d also ask yourself whether there’s a new, mutual *willingness* to work together to transform the conflicts that came up between you previously, in case they come up again. The willingness is key…

    This may include going to therapy for example, or taking a relationship skills course, but the question is: are you both willing to look at your own behaviour and make changes within yourself in order to transform your relationship? Are you committed to experiencing genuine love in your life?

    If you’re wondering if you’re soulmates, take a few minutes to take my soulmate quiz, which I compiled from a number of sources, including clairvoyant Edgar Cayce, and other esoteric and practical experts.

    It also includes clarification on Twin Flames, which as I understand it from my research, is different than “two souls becoming one”.

    Warm wishes,


    Karen M. Black | May 27th, 2011 | Comment Permalink
  2. Thanks a lot for enjoying this beauty article with me. It is very interesting for me to read this blog. Thank you for it. I like such topics and everything that is connected to this matter. I definitely want to read a bit more on that blog soon.

    Anonymous | December 15th, 2011 | Comment Permalink
  3. Healing yourself is an important step to heal your relationship. If you don’t get yourself right, you won’t be able to get your relationship right. This article has some very good points anyone interested in getting back with an ex needs to think of.

    Kevin | April 26th, 2012 | Comment Permalink

Post a Comment

If you want to show your picture with your comment, go get a gravatar!