Dear Arielle and Brian,
My fiancé and I were together for five years. I thought he was my soul mate and we were planning to get married. But last month he told me that he’s in love with someone else even though he says he still loves me. I can’t accept the fact that he has been unfaithful and claims to love another. I feel so devastated and shocked because I always felt that he’s the One for me.
What can I do to overcome my emotions and obsession with him?
We are so sorry you are going through this sad and difficult time. We hope you will be gentle with yourself and give yourself the time and space to grieve and heal. According to one of the world’s leading researchers on love and attraction, Dr. Helen Fisher of Rutgers University, sometimes when we are in love with someone and it ends, getting over them can be harder than overcoming a cocaine addiction.
This is because of complex brain chemistry things that happen. Things we have no control over. The symptoms include wild emotion swings and a craving to be with this person. One solution to overcome this is Dr. Pat Allen’s Love Detox Program. Dr. Pat, as she is known, is a licensed therapist in Los Angeles. She developed this program to help you detox emotionally and physically, and it’s a very specific, rigid plan of action that needs to be followed exactly.
First – you tell your ex not to have any contact with you. Then the hard part begins: Dr. Pat says that the minimum amount of time for a detox is eight weeks, and during that time you must not see your former partner, hear him, email, text or call him, taste, touch or smell him. If you do, the eight weeks starts all over again. It’s super important that you do not “smell him” because when you smell him you inhale his DNA which goes into and triggers a part of your brain which gets you back to your obsession of him. By following this program you will be giving your body, mind and spirit the opportunity to let go of the past so that you can heal your heart and eventually find new love.
Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,
Arielle and Brian
Arielle Ford has spent the past 25 years living and promoting consciousness through all forms of media. She is the author of the international bestselling book, THE SOULMATE SECRET: Manifest The Love of Your Life With The Law of Attraction. Her husband and soulmate Brian Hilliard is a business consultant with a life-long interest in spirituality and the practice of compassion. They live in La Jolla, CA. soulmatesecret.com and soulmatekit.com.
Disclaimer: Arielle Ford, Brian Hilliard, the Big Love column and its publishers assume no responsibility for any consequence relating directly or indirectly to any action or inaction you take based on the information, services or other material related to this column.