During the sitting, when the eyes closed the body relaxed and seemed to turn to warm liquid with all vestiges of the worries and anxiety of earlier oozing away and falling into a deep state of peace. After some while it felt as if I was looking into the abyss of nothingness. I felt the surrender and the possibility of dying was a natural next step. Give all of it up and drown in the Oneness of God. I knew that was all I had ever wanted. It was at that stage that all the build-up of the mindbody package that I knew to be "me/myself/I" seemed to slip off and was moved to the side, sort of floating to the left. Then the eyes opened and it was as if nothing had changed, yet with the feeling that everything had transformed irreversibly. Utterly unable to place what had actually happened, and with no desire to place it.