religion

NIRVANA, n. In the Buddhist religion, a state of pleasurable annihilation awarded to the wise, particularly to those wise enough to understand it.

MONSIGNOR, n. A high ecclesiastical title, of which the Founder of our religion overlooked the advantages.

MAYONNAISE, n. One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

MAMMON, n. The god of the world's leading religion. The chief temple is in the holy city of New York.

JOSS-STICKS, n. Small sticks burned by the Chinese in their pagan tomfoolery, in imitation of certain sacred rites of our holy religion.

INDIGESTION, n. A disease which the patient and his friends frequently mistake for deep religious conviction and concern for the salvation of mankind.

INFIDEL, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.

INADMISSIBLE, adj. Not competent to be considered. Hearsay evidence is inadmissible . . . but there is no religion in the world that has any other basis than hearsay evidence.

EXHORT, v.t. In religious affairs, to put the conscience of another upon the spit and roast it to a nut-brown discomfort.

EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.