jokes

A Quote by Wes Alexander on finance, jokes, money, people, politicians, reason, and reform

Campaign finance reform is a joke. The only reason people give politicians money is so they can gain their favor to steal my money. Campaign finance reform wouldn't be needed if politicians quit enriching one group at the expense of another.

Wes Alexander

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by unknown on jokes, politics, and problems

The problem with political jokes is that they get elected.

unknown

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by unknown on fear, friendship, hope, jokes, laughter, life, love, secrets, sharing, and understanding

To laugh a bit and joke a bit And grasp a friendly hand; To love a bit and scold a bit And know they'll understand; To tell one's secrets, hopes and fears And share a friendly smile; To have a friend and be a friend Is what makes life worthwhile.

unknown

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by unknown on confidence, fatherhood, jokes, life, motherhood, parenthood, questions, respect, and secrets

To give the white-haired father or mother not only respect, but confidence, to tell the joke and the secret to them first, to accord them cordially the central place in the merrymaking, may seem trivial matters, yet they are not trivial to those who, in the twilight of life, begin to think they are useless or forgotten, and to question whether they shall be missed when they shall go out into the nearing night. Courtesy is but a little thing and costs nothing, and if it is due to any one, it is surely due to the aged among us, especially when these are our parents.

unknown

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Thomas S. Monson on christ, colors, god, jesus, jokes, language, vulgarity, and words

How you speak and the words you use tell much about the image you choose to portray. Use language to build and uplift those around you. Profane, vulgar, or crude language and inappropriate or off-color jokes are offensive to the Lord. Never misuse the name of God or Jesus Christ. The Lord said, "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain" (Ex. 20:7).

Thomas S. Monson (1927 -)

Source: Friend December, 1990, “They Spoke to Us” © by Intellectual Reserve, Inc.Used by permission.

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Terry Cohen on jokes

in

He who laughs last is generally the last to get the joke.

Terry Cohen

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Sydney Smith on jokes and understanding

It requires a surgical operation to get a joke well into a Scotch understanding.

Sydney Smith (1771 - 1845)

Source: Lady Holland's Memoir. Vol. i. p. 15.

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on jokes

in

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Sir James Matthew Barrie on jokes, love, wives, and women

Every man who is high up loves to think that he has done it all by himself; and the wife smiles, and lets it go at that. It's our only joke. Every woman knows that.

Sir James Matthew Barrie (1860 - 1937)

Source: What Every Woman Knows

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Scott Raymond Adams on jokes, laughter, and energy

The amount of energy spent laughing at a joke should be directly proportional to the hierarchical status of the joke teller.

Scott Raymond Adams (1957 -)

Source: Dogbert, in Building a Better Life by Stealing Office Supplies: Dogbert's Big Book of Business, 1991

Contributed by: Zaady

Syndicate content