jokes

A Quote by Dolly Parton on blonde, dumb, offence, offense, self confidence, and jokes

I'm not offended by all dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb.  I also know I'm not blonde

Dolly Parton

Contributed by: jodi

A Quote by unknown on humor, jokes, wisdom, simplicity, country living, and advice

An Old Farmer's Advice:

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. *

* Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.*

* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.*

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.*

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.*

* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.*

* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.*

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.*

* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.*

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.*

* Every path has a few puddles.*

* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.*

* The best sermons are lived, not preached.

* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.*

* Don't judge folks by their relatives.*

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.*

* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.*

* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none.*

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.*

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.*

* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.*

* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.*

* Always drink upstream from the herd.*

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.*

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.*

* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.*

* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply.*

* Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.*

unknown

Contributed by: boznamedsoo

A Quote by Lewis Carroll on children, speaking, meaning, truth, honesty, cya, and jokes

'Always speak the truth - think before you speak - and write it down afterwards.'
'I'm sure I didn't mean - ' Alice was beginning, but the Red Queen interrupted her impatiently.
'That's just what I complain of!  You should have meant!  What do you suppose is the use of child without any meaning?  Even a joke should have some meaning - and a child's more important than a joke, I hope.

Lewis Carroll (1832 - 1898)

Source: Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There, Pages: Chapter 9

Contributed by: Tsuya

A Quote by Lewis Carroll on jokes and joking

You shouldn't make jokes if it makes you so unhappy.

Lewis Carroll (1832 - 1898)

Source: Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There, Pages: Chapter 3

Contributed by: Tsuya

A Quote by Francis Carbajal on god, humor, jokes, meaning, and life

Sometimes I wonder if God put you where you are just to laugh at the jokes he created.

Francis Carbajal

Contributed by: CentriRitanni

A Quote by Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill on jokes and seriousness

A joke is a very serious thing.

Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by William Blake on angels, jokes, and lies

I asked a thief to steal me a peach: He turned up his eyes. I asked a lithe lady to lie her down: Holy and meek, she cries. As soon as I went An angel came. He winked at the thief And smiled at the dame- And without one word spoke Had a peach from the tree, And 'twixt earnest and joke Enjoyed the lady.

William Blake (1757 - 1827)

Source: Poems from Blake’s Notebook, I Asked a Thief

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Will Rogers on jokes, people, and politicians

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Will Rogers on facts, government, jokes, and justice

I don't know jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)

Source: 1962 in Saturday Review

Contributed by: Zaady

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