husbands

Husband to his wife at the dinner table: "Well, at least now we know what your specialty isn't."

Husband at the bar: "Loretta's losing five pounds a week on her new diet. I figure I'll be rid of her completrely in about ten months."

Husband to his wife: "You could lose a lot of weight if you'd just carry all your diet books around the block once a day."

Husband to his wife: "Do I want dinner? Is this a trick question?"

Husband to his wife in the living room of friends: "We really have to be going. That casserole you served made us sick."

Husband to his wife: "You think I'm right? . . . Maybe I'd better rephrase that."

Husband to his wife: "I know you've been a model wife, but it's been a long time since your model was popular."

Husband at the bar: "I wanted to keep it simple, but she wanted a big divorce with reporters, photographers, witnesses. . . ."

My husband gave a battery of intelligence and personality tests to a job applicant. One question was, "If you were given a million dollars, what would be the first thing you would buy?' The young man replied, "A thank-you card."

A man will teach his wife what is needed to arouse his desires. And there is no reason for a woman to know any more than what her husband is prepared to teach her. If she gets married knowing far too much about what she wants and doesn't want then she will be ready to find fault with her husband.