funny

A Quote by Stewie Griffin on stewie, family guy, and funny

You know, I rather like this God fellow. Very theatrical, you know. Pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence ... gotta get me some of that.

Stewie Griffin

Source: Family Guy

Contributed by: Nancy

A Quote by Ellen DeGeneres on womenswisdom, funny, and smart

Golden eagles have an interesting way of mating, where they connect in the air while flying at eighty miles an hour and then they start dropping and they don't stop dropping until the act is completed. So it's not uncommon that they both fall all the way to the ground, hit the ground and both of them die. That's how committed they are to this. I thought to myself, 'Boy, don't we feel like wimps for stopping to answer the phone.' I don't know about you, but if I'm one of these two birds, you're getting close to the ground... I would serioulsy consider fakin' it.

Ellen DeGeneres

Contributed by: Peridot

A Quote by Ellen DeGeneres on womenswisdom, comedian, gay rights, funny, and smart

"I was raised around heterosexuals, as all heterosexuals are, that's where us gay people come from... you heterosexuals."

Ellen DeGeneres

Contributed by: Peridot

A Quote by Sol Luckman on names, imagination, luke soloman, proverb, axiom, picture, speaking, words, funny, humor, comedy, satire, parody, home, and return

Finally, we entered Chetaube County, my imaginary birthplace, where the names of the little winding roads and minuscule mountain communities never failed to inspire me: Yardscrabble, Big Log, Upper, Middle and Lower Pigsty, Chicken Scratch, Cooterville, Felchville, Dust Rag, Dough Bag, Uranus Ridge, Big Bottom, Hooter Holler, Quickskillet, Buck Wallow, Possum Strut … We always say a picture speaks a thousand words, but isn’t the opposite equally true?

Sol Luckman

Source: Beginner's Luke: Book I of the Beginner's Luke Series, Pages: 95

Contributed by: Leigh

A Quote by Dvorah Adler on manta, holy, silence, love, freedom, happiness, self realization, and funny

Shut UP! An Ancient Mantra for Complete Happiness!  The Simple Truth Your Guru, Therapist and Grandmother Forgot To Tell You!  Shut Up! and Be Happy!

Dvorah Adler

Source: Shut Up! An Ancient Mantra for Completel Happiness! The Simple Truth Your Guru, Therapist and Grandmother Forgot To Tell You!

Contributed by: dvorahji

A Quote by Sol Luckman on home, words, beauty, nostalgia, and funny

Home. The word circled comfortably in my mouth like bubble gum, swished around sweetly soft and satisfying. Home. Try saying it aloud to yourself. Home. Isn’t it like taking a bite of something lovely? If only we could eat words.

Sol Luckman

Source: Beginner's Luke: Book I of the Beginner's Luke Series, Pages: 93

Contributed by: Alyce

A Quote by Sol Luckman on roadtrip, hitchhiking, hilarious, funny, comical, comedy, humor, spoof, and sex

Then I was eighteen again, literally, hitchhiking in a bewildering zigzag from Toad Suck Park, Arkansas, to Big Bone Lick State Park, Kentucky, to Hungry Mother State Park, Virginia, to Intercourse, Pennsylvania, through the Shenandoah Valley to Sweet Lips, Tennessee, and then on through the Bible Belt bound, as best I could tell, for Climax, North Carolina.

Sol Luckman

Source: Beginner's Luke: Book I of the Beginner's Luke Series, Pages: 89

Contributed by: Leigh

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