funny

Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy, but socially dead.

Growing old is inevitable, growing up is a choice.

 Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I’ve done it dozens of times

A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted. Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.

"He had senile dementia and liked to go outside naked, but he could still do two things perfectly: win at checkers and write out prescriptions."

If you look at the map you're only an inch away!

Come, therefore, and let us fling mud at them!

You don't always need what you want, and you don't always want what you need.

You don't always need what you want, and you don't always want what you need.

"Now it's dark..."