One day Mal-2 asked the messenger spirit Saint Gulik to approach the
Goddess and request Her presence for some desperate advice. Shortly
afterwards the radio came on by itself, and an ethereal female Voice said
"O! Eris! Blessed Mother of Man! Queen of Chaos! Daughter of
Discord! Concubine of Confusion! O! Exquisite Lady, I beseech You to lift
a heavy burden from my heart!"
WHAT BOTHERS YOU, MAL? YOU DON’T SOUND WELL.
"I am filled with fear and tormented with terrible visions of pain.
Everywhere people are hurting one another, the planet is rampant with
injustices, whole societies plunder groups of their own people, mothers
imprison sons, children perish while brothers war. O, woe."
WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THAT, IF IT IS WHAT YOU WANT
"But nobody wants it! Everybody hates it!"
OH. WELL, THEN STOP.
At which moment She turned Herself into an aspirin commercial and
left the Polyfather stranded alone with his species.
Source: Principia Discordia
Contributed by: Benjamin