A Quote by Douglas Noel Adams on engineering, existence, impossibility, lies, mathematics, money, people, play, preparation, problems, relationships, restaurants, statistics, time, and words

The first nonabsolute number is the number of people for whom the table is reserved. This will vary during the course of the first three telephone calls to the restaurant, and then bear no apparent relation to the number of people who actually turn up, or to the number of people who subsequently join them after the show/match/party/gig, or to the number of people who leave when they see who else has turned up. The second nonabsolute number is the given time of arrival, which is now known to be one of the most bizarre of mathematical concepts, a recipriversexcluson, a number whose existence can only be defined as being anything other than itself. In other words, the given time of arrival is the one moment of time at which it is impossible that any member of the party will arrive. Recipriversexclusons now play a vital part in many branches of math, including statistics and accountancy and also form the basic equations used to engineer the Somebody Else's Problem field. The third and most mysterious piece of nonabsoluteness of all lies in the relationship between the number of items on the bill, the cost of each item, the number of people at the table and what they are each prepared to pay for. (The number of people who have actually brought any money is only a subphenomenon of this field.)

Douglas Noel Adams (1952 - 2001)

Source: Life, the Universe and Everything. New York: Harmony Books, 1982.

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Burt Lawlor on decisions, determination, engineering, opportunity, and success

Decision and determination are the engineer and fireman of our train to opportunity and success.

Burt Lawlor

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Bill Wulf on engineering, failure, nature, reflection, and science

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.

Bill Wulf

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Bill Sangster on engineering, statistics, and support

Statistics in the hands of an engineer are like a lamppost to a drunk - they're used more for support than illumination.

Bill Sangster

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Ambrose Gwinett Bierce on christianity, engineering, failure, and managers

GNOSTICS, n. A sect of philosophers who tried to engineer a fusion between the early Christians and the Platonists. The former would not go into the caucus and the combination failed, greatly to the chagrin of the fusion managers.

Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914)

Source: The Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce

Contributed by: Zaady

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