computers

Computer : a million morons working at the speed of light.

The function of RAM is to give us guys a way of deciding whose computer has the biggest, studliest, most tumescent MEMORY. This is important, because with today's complex software, the more memory a computer has, the faster it can produce error messages. So the bottom line is, if you're a guy, you cannot have enough RAM.

Without computers, the government would be unable to function at the level of effectiveness and efficiency that we have come to expect. . . . Today's government uses computers which are capable of cranking out millions of documents per day without any regard whatsoever for their content, thereby freeing government employees for more important responsibilities, such as not answering their phones.

I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.

The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, "people without lives." We don't care. We have each other.... While you are destroying your mind watching the worthless, brain-rotting drivel on TV, we on the Internet are exchanging, freely and openly, the most settings, uninhibited, intimate and, yes, shocking details about our "CONFIG.SYS."

Technological man can't believe in anything that can't be measured, taped, or put into a computer.

The organization man is dead. He thrived when smokestack America thrived. When airlines, banks and telephones were highly regulated. When Japan built shoddy cars. When computers were huge and an apple was something you ate.

I'm struck by the insidious, computer-driven tendency to take things out of the domain of muscular activity and put them into the domain of mental activity. The transfer is not paying off. Sure, muscles are unreliable, but they represent several million years of accumulated finesse.

Artificial Intelligence: the art of making computers that behave like the ones in movies.

The danger from computers is not that they will eventually get as smart as men, but that we will meanwhile agree to meet them halfway.