automobiles

You can lead a car to a highway, but you can't make it think.

Speaking of automobiles, some wit has observed; many freeways have three lanes. There's a left lane, a right lane and the one you're trapped in when you go past your exit.

Reckless automobile driving arouses the suspicion that much of the horse sense of the good old days was possessed by the horse.

The human brain is like a railroad freight car - guaranteed to have a certain capacity but often running empty.

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.

On seeing a former lover for the first time in years: I thought I told you to wait in the car.

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone. When I came back the entire area was missing.

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.

I put a new engine in my car, but I forgot to take the old one out. . . . Now I can go 300 mph.

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights. Now it looks like I'm the only one moving.