Woody Allen

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on Saturday and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on Saturday.

Eternal nothingness is okay if you're dressed for it.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?. In that case , i definitely overpaid for my carpet !.

What if the worst is true? What if there's no God, and you only go around once and that's it. Well, you know, don't you want to be part of the experience? You know, what the hell, it's not all a drag. And, I'm thinking to myself, "Geez, I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I'm never gonna get, and just enjoy it while it lasts."

If only God would give me a sign - like making a large deposit in my name in at Swiss bank.

Love is the answer but, while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.