Wilson Mizner

A good listener is not only popular everywhere,
but after a while he gets to know something.

The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.

I've known countless people who were reservoirs of learning, yet never had a thought.

Some of the greatest love affairs I've known have involved one actor--unassisted.

Always be nice to people on the way up; because you'll meet the same people on the way down.

A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.

Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.

Over in Hollywood they almost made a great picture, but they caught it in time.

You sparkle with larceny.

I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.