Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields (1879 - 1946)
Contributed by: Jordan
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
Contributed by: Zaady
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks. Evidently had a low opinion of Philadelphia
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
I only drink to steady my nerves. Sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it.
Never give a sucker an even break.
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