W. C. Fields

1879 - 1946

A Quote by W. C. Fields on humor, alcohol, and drunk life

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

W. C. Fields (1879 - 1946)

Contributed by: Jordan

A Quote by W. C. Fields on horses and people

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

W. C. Fields (1879 - 1946)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by W. C. Fields on babies, doctors, force, and illness

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.

W. C. Fields (1879 - 1946)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by W. C. Fields

First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks. Evidently had a low opinion of Philadelphia

W. C. Fields (1879 - 1946)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by W. C. Fields on day

in

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

W. C. Fields (1879 - 1946)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by W. C. Fields

I only drink to steady my nerves. Sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.

W. C. Fields (1879 - 1946)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by W. C. Fields on alcohol, drinking, insanity, people, religion, and statistics

Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.

W. C. Fields (1879 - 1946)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by W. C. Fields on death

in

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.

W. C. Fields (1879 - 1946)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by W. C. Fields

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.

W. C. Fields (1879 - 1946)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by W. C. Fields on money

in

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

W. C. Fields (1879 - 1946)

Contributed by: Zaady

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