Steven Wright

1955 -

A Quote by Steven Wright

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on jokes

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If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on caring

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If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on solution

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on solution

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

In Mexico we have a word for sushi.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on justice and women

In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, "Cut it out"

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

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