In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, "Cut it out"
Steven Wright (1955 -)
Contributed by: Zaady
In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence.
Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
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