It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused.
Steven Wright (1955 -)
Contributed by: Zaady
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
Last night I fell asleep in a satellite dish. My dreams were broadcast all over the world.
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.
Last week, I went to a furniture store to look for a decaffeinated coffee table. They couldn't help me.
Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.
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