My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.
Steven Wright (1955 -)
Contributed by: Zaady
My dog is an East German Shepherd.
It doesn't matter what temperature the room is; it's always room-temperature.
It's a fine night to have an evening.
It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused.
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
Last night I fell asleep in a satellite dish. My dreams were broadcast all over the world.
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.
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