Steven Wright

1955 -

A Quote by Steven Wright on cute, rest, and time

My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on dogs

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My dog is an East German Shepherd.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is; it's always room-temperature.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

It's a fine night to have an evening.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on birds, confusion, good, and justice

It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on world

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It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on dreams and world

Last night I fell asleep in a satellite dish. My dreams were broadcast all over the world.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on people

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Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

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