Steven Wright

1955 -

A Quote by Steven Wright

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on people

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Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

Last week, I went to a furniture store to look for a decaffeinated coffee table. They couldn't help me.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on fishing

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Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on jobs, people, and work

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on birthday and good

My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on cute, rest, and time

My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on dogs

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My dog is an East German Shepherd.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is; it's always room-temperature.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

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