Steven Wright

1955 -

A Quote by Steven Wright on adoption, evolution, and theory

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on listening and mistakes

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

Officer, I know I was going faster than 55 mile per hour, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on belief and time

One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read"

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on spontaneity

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on cute, rest, and time

My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on dogs

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My dog is an East German Shepherd.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is; it's always room-temperature.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

It's a fine night to have an evening.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

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