Steven Wright

1955 -

A Quote by Steven Wright

The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on time

in

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on people and power

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on water

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They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning. . . . [picks up his glass of water from the stool] . . . I like to live on the edge. . . .

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

This isn't all true.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on ideas, plagiarism, and research

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism - to steal from many is research.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on weather

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The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

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