The other day, I was walking my dog around my building . . . on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Steven Wright (1955 -)
Contributed by: Zaady
The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.
The power in my apartment went out the other night. I had to use the flash on my camera to find my way around. I took twenty seven pictures of my kitchen while I was making a sandwich. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house.
The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded.
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning. . . . [picks up his glass of water from the stool] . . . I like to live on the edge. . . .
Sorry . . . my mind was wandering . . . One time it went all the way to Venus and ordered a meal I couldn't pay for.
Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
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