They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning. . . . [picks up his glass of water from the stool] . . . I like to live on the edge. . . .
Steven Wright (1955 -)
Contributed by: Zaady
This isn't all true.
Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism - to steal from many is research.
The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honor. Who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?"
The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store . . . with a pricing gun. She said, "Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store."
The other day, I was walking my dog around my building . . . on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
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