Steven Wright

1955 -

A Quote by Steven Wright on money

in

The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store . . . with a pricing gun. She said, "Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store."

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on day, dogs, and people

The other day, I was walking my dog around my building . . . on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on day and people

in

The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on neighbors, power, and thought

The power in my apartment went out the other night. I had to use the flash on my camera to find my way around. I took twenty seven pictures of my kitchen while I was making a sandwich. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on time

in

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on people and power

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on earth and wishes

Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth. On the back it said, "Wish you were here."

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on mind and time

in

Sorry . . . my mind was wandering . . . One time it went all the way to Venus and ordered a meal I couldn't pay for.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

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