Steven Wright

1955 -

A Quote by Steven Wright on neighbors, power, and thought

The power in my apartment went out the other night. I had to use the flash on my camera to find my way around. I took twenty seven pictures of my kitchen while I was making a sandwich. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on time

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The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on people and power

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on water

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They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning. . . . [picks up his glass of water from the stool] . . . I like to live on the edge. . . .

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

This isn't all true.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on failure, privacy, and success

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on belief

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Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

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