Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.
Steven Wright (1955 -)
Contributed by: Zaady
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will."
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A fool and his money are soon partying.
A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go. You'll just be walking down the street and . . . ooooohhhhhh, that's much better.
A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, "Wish you were here."
Copyright © 2014 Gaiam, Inc.