Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Steven Wright (1955 -)
Contributed by: Zaady
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will."
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A fool and his money are soon partying.
A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go. You'll just be walking down the street and . . . ooooohhhhhh, that's much better.
A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, "Wish you were here."
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
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