How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
Steven Wright (1955 -)
Contributed by: Zaady
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
Ever notice how irons have a setting for 'permanent' press? I don't get it . . .
Every once in a while I like to stick my head out the window, look up at the sky and smile . . . for a satellite picture.
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