Steven Wright

1955 -

A Quote by Steven Wright on inclusion

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included. . . . So I had to buy them again.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on automobiles and justice

For a while I didn't have a car . . . I had a helicopter . . . no place to park it, so I just tied it to a lamp post and left it running. [slow glance upward]

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on belief

in

All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on time

in

Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on travel

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Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on borrowing and money

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on country and skiing

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on anger, depression, and enthusiasm

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

Even snakes are afraid of snakes.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

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