I bought a self learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to sleep; the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish.
Steven Wright (1955 -)
Contributed by: Zaady
Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
Ever notice how irons have a setting for 'permanent' press? I don't get it . . .
Every once in a while I like to stick my head out the window, look up at the sky and smile . . . for a satellite picture.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Source: see Olivier
For a while I didn't have a car . . . I had a helicopter . . . no place to park it, so I just tied it to a lamp post and left it running. [slow glance upward]
All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
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