Steven Wright

1955 -

A Quote by Steven Wright on day, learning, and sleep

I bought a self learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to sleep; the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

Even snakes are afraid of snakes.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

Ever notice how irons have a setting for 'permanent' press? I don't get it . . .

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

Every once in a while I like to stick my head out the window, look up at the sky and smile . . . for a satellite picture.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on justice and memory

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on experience, justice, and needs

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Source: see Olivier

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A Quote by Steven Wright on automobiles and justice

For a while I didn't have a car . . . I had a helicopter . . . no place to park it, so I just tied it to a lamp post and left it running. [slow glance upward]

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on belief

in

All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on time

in

Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on travel

in

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

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