Steven Wright

1955 -

A Quote by Steven Wright on practice

When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a closet for five minutes without moving. He said it was elevator practice.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on mistakes and sleep

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep well?" I said, "No, I made a few mistakes"

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on cruelty and ideas

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

Why are there five syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

What do batteries run on?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on death

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What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

What's another word for Thesaurus?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

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