Steven Wright

1955 -

A Quote by Steven Wright on death

in

I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on day, learning, and sleep

I bought a self learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to sleep; the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

I bought a ticket on Airline Bizarre . . . a one-way round-trip ticket. . . . You leave any Monday and they bring you back the previous Friday. . . . that way, you still have the weekend.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

I bought an ant farm. I don't know where I am going to get a tractor that small!

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on brothers, christmas, and gifts

I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on inclusion

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included. . . . So I had to buy them again.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on action, criticism, and opposites

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on future, laziness, and work

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

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