I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar.
Steven Wright (1955 -)
Contributed by: Zaady
I bought a self learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to sleep; the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish.
I bought a ticket on Airline Bizarre . . . a one-way round-trip ticket. . . . You leave any Monday and they bring you back the previous Friday. . . . that way, you still have the weekend.
I bought an ant farm. I don't know where I am going to get a tractor that small!
I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.
I bought some batteries, but they weren't included. . . . So I had to buy them again.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
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