Steven Wright

1955 -

A Quote by Steven Wright

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you're not using?"

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on mind and trying

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

I was walking down the street wearing glasses when suddenly the prescription ran out.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on thinking

I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went "Aaaaahhhh..."

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on automobiles

I put a new engine in my car, but I forgot to take the old one out. . . . Now I can go 300 mph.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on time

in

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

I put tape on my mirrors at my house so I won't accidentally walk through them into another dimension.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

Syndicate content