Steven Wright

1955 -

A Quote by Steven Wright on fighting

I went to the fights, and a hockey game broke out.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours" He said, "Yes, but not in a row"

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on children and time

I went for a walk last night, and my kids asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, "The whole time."

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

I went to a 7-11 and asked for a 2x4 and a box of 3x5's. The clerk said, "ten-four."

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on defeat and purpose

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on restaurants

I went to a fancy French restaurant called "Deja Vu." The headwaiter said, "Don't I know you?"

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on sales

in

I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale."

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on museums

in

I went to a museum where they had all the heads and arms from all the statues in the other museums.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

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