I went for a walk last night, and my kids asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, "The whole time."
Steven Wright (1955 -)
Contributed by: Zaady
I went to a 7-11 and asked for a 2x4 and a box of 3x5's. The clerk said, "ten-four."
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
I went to a fancy French restaurant called "Deja Vu." The headwaiter said, "Don't I know you?"
I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale."
I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.
I went to a museum where they had all the heads and arms from all the statues in the other museums.
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time." So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart.
I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, "What for?" I said, "I'm going to buy some sugar."
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