I'm writing a book. I have the page numbers down. . . . I just have to fill in the rest.
Steven Wright (1955 -)
Contributed by: Zaady
I've never seen electricity, that's why I don't pay for it.
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?
If its tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house.
I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours" He said, "Yes, but not in a row"
I went for a walk last night, and my kids asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, "The whole time."
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