Steven Wright

1955 -

A Quote by Steven Wright on books, justice, rest, and writing

I'm writing a book. I have the page numbers down. . . . I just have to fill in the rest.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on electricity

I've never seen electricity, that's why I don't pay for it.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on destruction and success

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on opposites and progress

If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on seasons and tourists

If its tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours" He said, "Yes, but not in a row"

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on children and time

I went for a walk last night, and my kids asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, "The whole time."

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

I went to a 7-11 and asked for a 2x4 and a box of 3x5's. The clerk said, "ten-four."

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

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