I Xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare.
Steven Wright (1955 -)
Contributed by: Zaady
I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes . . .
I'm writing a book. I have the page numbers down. . . . I just have to fill in the rest.
I've never seen electricity, that's why I don't pay for it.
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart.
I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, "What for?" I said, "I'm going to buy some sugar."
I went to the fights, and a hockey game broke out.
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