Steven Wright

1955 -

A Quote by Steven Wright

I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes . . .

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on books, justice, rest, and writing

I'm writing a book. I have the page numbers down. . . . I just have to fill in the rest.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on electricity

I've never seen electricity, that's why I don't pay for it.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on destruction and success

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on opposites and progress

If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on bankers, borrowing, and money

I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, "What for?" I said, "I'm going to buy some sugar."

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on fighting

I went to the fights, and a hockey game broke out.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

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