If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
Steven Wright (1955 -)
Contributed by: Zaady
In Mexico we have a word for sushi.
In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, "Cut it out"
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?
If its tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think about what kind of food you want, and the table would move across the floor to it.
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" I said, "I don't know . . . let me ask Tony."
Copyright © 2014 Gaiam, Inc.