Steven Wright

1955 -

A Quote by Steven Wright on babies

in

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on food and health

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" I said, "I don't know . . . let me ask Tony."

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on books, children, and purpose

I wrote a few children's books . . . not on purpose.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on listening, music, and songs

I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, "I think I might have written that."

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on machines

I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on time

in

I Xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes . . .

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on books, justice, rest, and writing

I'm writing a book. I have the page numbers down. . . . I just have to fill in the rest.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

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