If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Steven Wright (1955 -)
Contributed by: Zaady
If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
I wrote a few children's books . . . not on purpose.
I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, "I think I might have written that."
I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.
I Xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare.
I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes . . .
I'm writing a book. I have the page numbers down. . . . I just have to fill in the rest.
I've never seen electricity, that's why I don't pay for it.
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