Steven Wright

1955 -

A Quote by Steven Wright on caring

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If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on solution

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes . . .

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on books, justice, rest, and writing

I'm writing a book. I have the page numbers down. . . . I just have to fill in the rest.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on electricity

I've never seen electricity, that's why I don't pay for it.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on destruction and success

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on opposites and progress

If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

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